Kite Flying

So, here I am.  I’m in the home stretch of the ending of my 6 months off from work.  It’s surreal.  I’ve accomplished so much and yet I still have so much I would like to do.  It’s a weird thing to be ‘off’ from work for that long.  I imagine, it’s like being adrift at sea.  It would be different if I had another job or was in transition but I’m not, I’m on sabbatical.  I’ve been working since I was 16 years old and have NEVER had this much idle time.  How I manage my time has been similar to that of a 16 year old.  I’ve slept in, cooked all day, clean my house and rearranged it several times, painted walls, skied, hit the gym, took Chuy for some long, long walks, watched movies as well as 3 entire seasons of Damages (intensely fucked up show, but I love it) and Homeland and took a zillion bubble baths and read.  Giving myself permission to do absolutely nothing was/is hard, my therapist once told me I suffer from ‘Active Laziness.”   

            I gave myself the gift of a lifetime these past 6 months.  I knew even before my last day of work that I had already done something for myself that no one and nothing could ever take back.  I gave myself the gift of dreaming big and abundance.  I threw caution to the wind and flew a kite in all of it.   So, now I find myself in this bittersweet place of leaving this experience.  The experience of climbing the highest free standing mountain on the planet, helping build a footbridge in Rwanda, and traveling around the world, taking time for me.  I’m eager to be productive (the active laziness part of me) as well as continue to nurture and create some stories that matter.  I know how lucky I am after this time.  I’ve been witness to some difficult things as well as some magical things ~ usually they are/were intermingled.  I have scratched the surface of something that has changed me forever.  I can’t NOT know, what I know.   I have a different sense of value as well as who/what I am in the grand scheme of things.  I am humbled yet I have resounding purpose in my little life.  I’m excited to see what the second half of my life brings me. 

            I’ve created an Executive Summary as well as several video clips for my DreamMaker Project.  I have been in contact with several people in Starbucks and I am convinced this is a good idea.  Now, I need to persuade them.  I was never delusional regarding my returning to work as a manager.  I know this will take time to nudge them in the right direction.  Staying positive about something that is so emotive and personal is difficult over time.  Allowing yourself to slide into every emotion, feel it and move on isn’t easy to do.  I interviewed 11 Starbucks partners around the world regarding their dreams and how working for Starbucks helps them get ‘that’ much closer to those dreams.  There is power in feeling connected and that state of relatedness means something.  This I know to be true.

            I also struck something inside of SmartWool with my donation of socks.  I don’t know that it will lead me to any journey with this company but I do think it could make a difference in the lives of the Porters.  My hope is that they continue the donation and will find a niche within the meaning of this.  I have and will continue to nurture this idea and the value/responsibility we hold if we have the means.   Regardless, this donation mattered and I was able to see that first hand. 

            I started this entire journey wanting to create a documentary on the Porters of Kilimanjaro.  Climbing Kilimanjaro and filming the entire event was amazing and exhausting.  Interviewing these magnificent people was one of the best things I’ve ever experienced and I feel an immense privilege holding those stories/interviews.  I know I have the opportunity to make a difference, and that matters.  Teaching myself editing while creating is challenging but I love telling these stories.  I can’t say I’m good at editing but I am crafty at storytelling.  The value of stories is powerful in waking the human spirit.  “And now,” cried Max, “let the wild rumpus start!” ― Maurice SendakWhere the Wild Things Are